i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
