and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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