were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize