I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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