Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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