update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
