Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
