Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
