I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
