Screwed.edu
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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