oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the day after is always just damage control
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
