Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
