I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize