No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
