well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
