y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
