you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
