how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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