I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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