Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
