We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize