the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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