I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
