I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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