mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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