yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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