my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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