Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
