New invention idea: vibrating tampons
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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