: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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