drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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