Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
