She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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