hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize