Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
