HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
