i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my shit smells like andre
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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