Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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