I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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