I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
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are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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