we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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