I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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