I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
