i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
how drunk are you?
Several
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
