Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Found your dick twin last night
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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