I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
