i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
