why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
