I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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