I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
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My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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