Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
