Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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