Having a random hookup so left but love u
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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