woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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