You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
