The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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