Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
