What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
