Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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