She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
