i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i was born a porn star she said
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
