I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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