I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
