Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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