i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
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