i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
