ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
