it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
